STUFF

The visitation center just left a message that Mom canceled the visit for today. The girls haven't seen their mother all month; there was a holiday, then the caseworker failed to inform them that they had canceled a visit, now Mom canceled. My guess is that Mom realizes that she will soon need to say goodbye soon and it's all just too much for her, but damn everyone and the way they treat these kids. I just want to scream at everyone to F OFF! They (the kids) are so confused, leaving here to go live with a dimwit (I didn't even mention how she tried to over medicate Amy this weekend!) and they just want to visit with their mother. I'm so excited to be the one to tell them that they aren't going to see Mom. AGAIN!

In other news, I feel like a real heel because EVERYONE around me is going through such turmoil, it's crazy. It seems like everyone has someone they love who is hospitalized, dying, or just died. Things for which they deserve my ear, or a casserole, or something. But I don't have anything to give away. I am preserving myself, and I feel rotten because of it. Most of these people are still reaching out to ME, which I appreciate, I really do, but the inability to get past myself is making me crazy.

People keep talking about Karma and how the Evil Caseworker will get her due in the end...which I can't say I disagree with, it's the only way to keep from going mad. But what about these kids? What did they ever do to end up where they are? They are kind hearted, gentle souls who try so hard to do what is right. Their mistake? Being born. They are just little kids paying for adult mistakes. And paying, and paying. Hopefully they will get theirs in the end as well because they deserve so much more.