I’ve been in a much better mood this weekend. It was a beautiful day today and I really enjoyed the sunshine, although I really wished we had the pool ready.
I am feeling burned out of certain things. I want a break from foster care but using the respite home that we are being forced to use is going to make things so much worse. Ugh. One of the foster kids had a HUGE fall during the soccer game that resulted in the game being stopped, both coaches and several parents, and every available child running out to see the half dead child. I knew the child was fine. The child is always fine, just in need of some extra attention. My gut churns and wants to say, “Get up and go sit on the side line” but with such an audience, I am forced to give the child what she craves. After soothing her and putting ice on her leg and encouraging her to give it another try I went off to talk to another mother who has adopted some of her children. I asked her if her kids had these attention seeking behaviors. She laughed and told me some stories that rivaled mine. She spoke about how one of her daughters will use her sexuality to get attention. She’s 5. She told me how infuriating it is when people find it funny. I asked her who on earth would think it was funny, and she pointed to the row of soccer mothers who were still brooding over my inattention to the injured child. A light bulb went off in my head. To them, it was cute and funny because they had no idea that it wasn’t funny, that it was a serious problem with a very real root. Just as they had no idea that my injured child was on the third such (non)injury of the day. This mother also told me that they are no longer going to the ER, rather telling the children to “suck it up” instead, which is what the foster kid’s guardian suggested that I do. What they don’t understand is that my kids lack the ability to “suck it up” and would keep me up crying all night long. Once she has been proven healthy (as in a doctor saying there is absolutely nothing wrong), she can admit that she just needed attention, but until then, no dice.