FREAKING OUT

My head is spinning right now. We were just out and about and ran into someone we know from the foster/adopt world. She told Gary that she had seen our girls and they were in a different office, and available for adoption and photo listed.

I haven't confirmed it yet. I am shaking and I feel like I am going to be sick. She has to be wrong. When I gave up the girls it was with the understanding that the foster home cared deeply for them, would take good care of them, and ultimately wanted to adopt all three of them. Is it possible that they have been TPR'd, moved to another office, and photo listed? I can't imagine that it is possible, but this person did know our girls.

Ugh.

If they are there, I will be so frigging thrilled to see their faces, I think I will cry. But on the other hand, if they are there, what the hell do I do?

We had talked early on of the possibility of something like this happening and realized that once they were gone they were gone, because how would they ever trust us again? By letting them go we were breaking something that could never be mended. But if they are out there, available for adoption...

Should I look? I don't know. I did talk to the agency who does the listings and she did tell me that there was a new "batch" of kids coming through, which would have happened last week.

Ugh.

UPDATE:

I looked. They aren't there. Thank God. I don't even know what I would have done. The physical reaction just from the possibility was not fun. Ouch. Note to the world: Foster Care sucks.