AIRING MY DIRTY LAUNDRY

We are so classy. That is the THIRD dead washing machine adorning our lawn in the last two weeks.

About four years ago some friends were moving out of state and offered us their washer and dryer for $15. As the capacity was larger than what we were using we put it into immediate service and stored our unit. Finally it died, and we brought our washer out of retirement. And then it died. Gary took it apart and replaced several pieces and could "walk" it through a load, until the major support arm broke, and it died it's final death.

Thankfully The Burn Family (not their real names) had an extra sitting in the second in their series of three houses. They offered to deliver it to us (in a major snowstorm no less!). The owning of three (and now only one) washing machines proves to be a far more interesting story that the owning of the three houses, so much so that when I mentioned to Gary that The Burn Man would be delivering a washer his knee jerk reaction was to say, "I'm not getting in the middle of THAT mess!" Suffice it to say that The Burn Family washing machines are much coveted items.

Anyway, the washer was delivered right to my basement and Gary went to work on the laundry. (Did I just admit to the world that my husband does the laundry? ooops!) Only the washer didn't work. It tried to work as hard as it could, and we know this because all the lights in the house got really dim when we turned it on. Finally we conceded that this washer was as dead as the last two. Mrs. Burn Man even came over in an attempt to coax it into service to no avail. Then she offered me MONEY to dispose of it!!! I told her, "Yeah, give me a washing machine, deliver it in a snow storm right to my basement, then give me money for your trouble!" Okay, what I really said was something more along the lines of, "Don't be ridiculous. Thank you so much for trying!" We in fact have a "guy" that we call who likes to take our junk and magically turn it into money to feed his family by ripping it apart and selling the metal. Gary threw the lamp out as well, my suspicion is so that he can avoid saying, "I have ANOTHER washing machine." With the lamp out there, it all becomes "some metal stuff" needed to be picked up! Genius!

However to get the washer out Gary needed help (again). He walked over to Neighborhood Husband and asked him for a favor, but refused to disclose any details until he agreed to come help. Neighborhood Husband said something along the lines of, "hahaha, You're going to ask me to carry out another washing machine, aren't you?!?!?!" Hahaha Alright!

From the perspective of this Neighborhood Husband it must look like the washing machines are procreating spontaneously (and mutant non-functioning offspring to boot!) in our basement.

So today I am trudging back and forth to the Burn Family Mansion to do my laundry while I try to reconcile the need to spend hundreds of dollars to fix our problem. Oh my gosh...I just had the most awful thought...what if our family laundry has some sort of fatal washing machine virus and I kill the only remaining washer of the Burn Family?!?!

I think we need to go shopping.