About Me

I am the mother to 6 children and former foster mother to 2. I am passionate about whatever it is I am passionate about, until I change my mind. I dream big, plan big, and once in a while I even make it big. We are planning to take our freak show on the road. Join us as we embark on a new adventure!

Thursday, February 28, 2008

ICE FISHING FOR DUMMIES (aka Kerry and Gary)

Last weekend my children were invited to go ice fishing with the Burn Man (not his real name). The Burn Man (not his real name) has taken his own kids several times, and they come back all red from the cold. I said that I would think about it.

Gary and I had several discussions where we both agreed that we fully trusted the Burn Man (not his real name) with our children, but people on ice freaked us both out, and it was going to be cold. Our kids are not as rugged as the children of the Burn Man (not his real name) and don’t really “do” cold.

I spoke to Mrs. Burn Man (not her real name) to see if she could appease my concerns. It did not help. In fact talking to her made it worse! Mrs. Burn Man (not her real name) said she understood our concerns because she used to fear her own children FALLING IN THE HOLES!!! A concern that I hadn’t even considered!!! Not only did we have to worry about them falling through the ice, now we had to worry about them falling into a hole in the ice. Geesh.

Gary and I spoke again and came up with a list of questions designed to make us feel better, including (but not limited to) how many holes would the Burn Man (not his real name) be drilling and who else would be there. The answers, some guy the Burn Man works with (translation: some guy they DON’T EVEN KNOW) and only about 20 holes (translation: 20 FREAKING HOLES?!), and don’t worry, they will probably spend most of their time on the snowmobile anyway (translation: a SNOWMOBILE?! You hadn’t mentioned a SNOWMOBILE…breathe Kerry, breathe).

Gary and I spoke again and decided that it would be good for the kids to be exposed to something that we will NEVER expose them to ourselves, and like I said above, we totally trust the Burn Man (not his real name).

The next morning the kids all got dressed and listened to our warnings to keep warm, stay away from the holes, listen to the Burn Man, yada yada. The Burn Man tried to make us feel better. He told us that the holes all have some sort of trap that would make it impossible for someone to fall in. And that the ice is very thick. So thick in fact that EVERYONE is driving their TRUCKS onto the ice.

My kids left and I worried. That they would be run over. By a truck. On a lake.

Update: The kids all survived, were not windburned, drowned, frozen, or flattened by a truck. I'd say it was a successful outing.


Yondalla said...

Do you know about the Darwin Awards? There is a story about people who went ice fishing and decided to create the hole why dynamite. Which they threw. Which the dog chased and brought back, because clearly they were playing fetch, right?

So they yelled at the dog, who ran faster. So they shot at the dog to scare it away or kill it, so the dog ran under the new truck. Neither the dog nor the truck survived.

Since it was a Darwin Award at least one of the people must have died.... you only get the award if you successfully take yourself out of the gene pool.

Tudu said...

You are so brave and that's all I will say. Please update ASAP.

Christine said...

Try not to worry. Hopefullly nothing like Yondalla mentioned will happen. :)