About Me

I am the mother to 6 children and former foster mother to 2. I am passionate about whatever it is I am passionate about, until I change my mind. I dream big, plan big, and once in a while I even make it big. We are planning to take our freak show on the road. Join us as we embark on a new adventure!

Monday, October 08, 2007


I picked up the girls today. When I called to confirm the meeting place (in another town, the foster mother picked the location) I asked her how the weekend went. "Fine. They are ALWAYS fine at MY house" she told me. Okay. Except for when they weren't.

After we got the girls the foster mother pulled out in front of us, and drove all the way into our town, within two miles of our house. Why then was it so important that I drive into another town to meet her?!?! She did this same thing the last time as well. Seriously, is it just to piss me off? Because it's effective.

The first time I picked them up I thanked her for taking them and told her, "I feel like I was able to breath deeply for the first time in a long time." She scowled at me and said, "This was the EASIEST respite I have EVER done." Whatever. I'm glad they were good for you, but that doesn't mean that they aren't a lot of work or that I don't need a break. You could have just said, "you're welcome".

Then they came back after a horrible weekend with her and I was told they were never going back. When she told me how bad they were I reminded her that she had said they were the easiest kids she ever had. She said, "that was before the shit hit the fan!" But now, they are ALWAYS good at HER house.

When I dropped them off I took the foster mother aside and explained that Anna had lost a tooth and handed her an envelope with a dollar in it. I asked if they would please make sure the tooth fairy came for her. They agreed. When I picked them up, I noticed that Anna had lost ANOTHER tooth. She said she had and the tooth fairy came twice! Isn't that something that a normal person would convey to the other adult? This is what makes my blood pressure go through the roof. The last time they went there Amy came home with a bra. I had no idea she had it until I found it in the laundry. I can't believe the foster mother didn't tell me that. She isn't shy about reporting my alleged shortcomings to the state on a regular basis. What other important events happened this weekend that I won't find out about for months, if ever?

When I told her about the tooth, I also gave her some mangos. I explained that we bought a bunch of them and I didn't think they would last until the girls came home, and I didn't want them to miss out. I asked if they were familiar with how to cut mangos and she said yes. I asked the girls if they enjoyed them. "No, they rotted. We fed them to the chickens."

I understand that these are all minor issues. The bigger issue is that I feel so powerless and I know that things continue to happen behind my back and it makes my blood boil. Just be a normal person and tell me what the kids did this weekend, tell me that my kid lost a tooth, or that you bought her a bra. Seriously, just let me know.

1 comment:

Yondalla said...

Have I mentioned recently how much Alanon has helped me to be a foster parent? The basic idea is to accept that you can't control this woman. You just can't. You can make yourself crazy over it, or you can learn to let it go. She's on a power trip. I recommend not giving her power over your moods.

It's a whole lot easier to say than to do. A whole lot.

And that is my assvice for the day.

I find that the more kids have been a pain at home the more likely they are to be angels on respite. Respite behavior means nothing.