TELLING THE KIDS (and sports)

We just finished telling the kids. Amy and Anna sat on the couch waiting for us and asked if it was good or bad news. I told them it was both. Anna asked three times if I was going to tell her that she was never going to see her Mom again. God, that broke my heart because honestly, it's my understanding that particular conversation may only be weeks away.

We told them all the details and made it very clear that we were the ones asking for the move, but we were doing it because we felt that they should be with their sister and that couldn't happen in our home. We told them that we would keep them forever if we could, but it wouldn't be fair to keep them from Candy.

Amy showed signs of anxiety, but I don't think that was abnormal. They are concerned about moving and starting a new school, but over all happy about being with Candy.

They both gave us huge hugs. Then both talked over each other in that hyper talk as they tried to process. "We can still call. I know the phone number. Remember when I didn't? We can write because I know the address and I can give it to my friends and I need to learn T's phone number. There are two students in my class that moved and now I am moving and that makes three" and on and on.

They want to celebrate Halloween here. We talked about them going for a respite weekend, then coming back for two weeks and leaving the first weekend in November. This will allow them to finish up their sports commitments and say their goodbyes, and hopefully be before I go into labor. We are cutting it dangerously close, but I think that would be the best scenario.

Now I have a rant about sports. If you are the person who made these comments, friends with the person who made them, or the coach's wife, stop reading here.

At football this weekend a mother said to me, "I am collecting for coaches gifts. It will be $10 per child and you can pay me when you have it."

She did not ask if I wanted to participate, just told me that I owed her $10. What the heck? I thought that I would just let it go but apparently I haven't because I was triggered to remember it today when I first got an email from the soccer coach about an end of the year picnic for our team. I don't know anyone else on this team and it's not like these kids will be together ever again. This is the 3rd of 4th season that Katherine has been playing and she has never been with any of these kids before, and likely won't be again, that's how big the league is. I thought about it and decided that we would participate because I could just as easily be complaining about the lack of community and people willing to do something, right?

Then while I am sitting at soccer practice I overhear a mother talking to one of the coaches and the pieces I get are "ten dollars per child" and "given after the last game". All of the sudden the football conversation came back. I know that I am a little sensitive about finances right now as our financial situation is about to go downhill like a runaway train, but even so, why is it necessary to give coaches gifts? Do coaches want, need, or even (and more importantly) appreciate them? And seriously, TEN dollars per child? The football team is 30 or 40 kids. I'm a little resentful. And really, if someone ASKED me to participate I might feel differently, but it seems that all the sudden gift giving is mandatory. And it's not even gift giving. It's "Hey, just hand over your cash!" What if I would prefer to give my own gift? Grrr.