About Me

I am the mother to 6 children and former foster mother to 2. I am passionate about whatever it is I am passionate about, until I change my mind. I dream big, plan big, and once in a while I even make it big. We are planning to take our freak show on the road. Join us as we embark on a new adventure!

Tuesday, October 16, 2007


Last night I spoke to the GAL who agreed that the current players will never like us and agreed that it will never work out for us. She convinced us that the only thing to do is to resign. I don't need to go into all the details, but she was VERY supportive of us and our relationship with the kids, but essentially thought that all three girls should be together and that would never happen in our home due to past crap. And as the older one was doing well in her current placement it made more sense to move the younger two because they have more time to grow and adjust. I can't say I disagree.

Then I told the therapist this morning and she completely disagreed and had me all worked up because she didn't think it would be in their best interest to move to the other foster home. UGH.

However the GAL called me again this afternoon and apparently after getting more information the therapist is on board. Maybe, maybe not. I do know that she did not say the things the Evil Caseworker reported.

So I say here all day thinking about making the phone call. Figuring out exactly what I would say. Then seeing the girls face and breaking down. I can't do it. Back to I have to do it. Thinking about the call, repeat from go.

But I did it. I made the call and asked that they remove the children from my home. Can you imagine anything more gut wrenching then asking someone to come take away your children?!?!

What I said is, "I understand that Manipulative Foster Mother would like to have all three girls. So in the interest of keeping the children together I am asking that you remove them from my home." She was SHOCKED and asked how this came about. I told her that I felt Evil Caseworker has not wanted them in my home for some time and I don't want to put up with the lies and manipulation anymore, and it is clear that everyone wants the kids to be together and that isn't going to happen in my home. She asked if she could have a few minutes to think about it and call me back. What I suspect she did was call Manipulative Foster Mother to make sure she would still take them. She called back and asked how I wanted the transition to take place. Shocking huh? She said, "You don't want me to come and get them today do you?!" I said absolutely not, that in fact I am really hoping they would allow us time to say goodbye and allow the girls time to say goodbye to classmates and such, and she agreed. I thanked her. She asked if we could speak in the morning and come up with a plan to transition, and asked me to think about whether I wanted one more respite before they go.

Hopefully they will be as accommodating come morning.

Now all I have to do is tell the kids that they are moving, tell my own kids, pick a date, pack up a years worth of their stuff, and cry until I am completely dehydrated. God help me.


Tudu said...

OMG! Being faced briefly with having my child moved due to recent events I was overcome with grief. I am so sorry for all of you. The only good thing is that they can all be together but I know it is not going to make it any easier for your loss. I am here, please let me know if I can help or just listen.

Yondalla said...

It is difficult. It is gut-wrenching. I know.

Take care of yourself. Allow yourself to ride out the pain -- almost like you do with child birth. Don't fight it.

It will lessen. It will become bearable.