Grocery shopping with four children is no barrel of monkeys. Wait; actually, shopping with four children is remarkably like a barrel of monkeys. Waiting until the children get off the bus to go is also not the smartest time management trick, but with appointments and cleaning (and okay, napping!) the day just gets away. And as I have just this evening learned the 3rd is the least smart time to be in a grocery store because people who get paid monthly generally get paid on the 3rd. Who knew? The shopping experience was not as bad as you might expect, it was actually quite nice because we found unwrapped Hershey kisses and Reese’s peanut butter cups for 75 cents a bag. Score! Amazingly we made it to the register without incident. Gary was in front of me with the kids, and I noticed that the baby was chewing on a can of frozen orange juice. I asked Gary if it had been paid for. That was my only concern at the time, that it wasn’t stolen. Can you think of any other concerns a mother might have with her child chewing on a can of frozen orange juice? Well let me enlighten you. Moments later the child begins screaming. Yes, his lower lip and tongue were welded to the lid of the can. The bagger went to find some water (very slowly it seemed!). I first tried to lick my finger and see if that would help, and then in a panic I spit on the child’s tongue. Yes, just like a scene out of Seinfeld. But it worked. The child was greatly relieved to be free of the can, but quite upset at the pain that remained. And so to the rescue, a bag of frozen peas! As if our family doesn’t attract enough attention just be being together in public. When Matthew is finally old enough to watch the 48 hour marathon of A Christmas Story he will be able to appreciate the poor child frozen to the lamp post.
Gary just asked me to go through a pile of paper from Noah’s school bag. Inside the pile was a stack of old Christmas cards that had been cut up for crafts, and given to him by his teacher. On one card the message was still visible. “Dear Sharon and Melissa; If I saw you as often as I think of you I would be living in your basement! Love, Kristi Jacob and Brian.” That is the funniest message I have ever seen. I would adopt it as my own personal greeting for cards, but it might scare people. As funny as it is, I’m a little scared myself. Eeek!