Christmas

I stopped by my Aunt’s house the other day and saw the following note on her bulletin board:

“Kerry has my Christmas Shapes, and some others 9/28/00

Kerry also has Tupperware catalog 9/30/00”

The cookie cutters were returned days later. I remember because she came by for them and I was not allowed to have them another day (and they weren’t hers, but my Nana’s, but I wasn’t allowed to have ANYTHING of hers anyway!). And the Tupperware catalog? I promise that I don’t still have it. She had already placed her Christmas order, and stupid me but I always thought that they were disposable; being replaced every season and all! I think that the reason the note is still there is because it went up in one of her attempts to be organized (in September of 2000) and there hasn’t been another attempt since that time, and also she doesn’t want to drop her guard with me. If she starts to feel positive thoughts about me she can look up and think “That bitch borrowed my cookie cutters in September of 2000. She just burns me up!” Really, I don’t know why she doesn’t like me, but maybe it has something to do with throwing away her beloved Tupperware catalog.

One time, (back around September of 2000) I had several people over for a crafting party, and Aunt was present. Once she was sure that she had everyone’s attention she told me:

“Last week I was looking all over for something. I looked for over and hour before I finally realized that I lent it to Kerry.”
“Really, what was it? I’ll get it for you now.”
“Oh, I can’t remember now what it was, that was last week!”

Now as senile as one might be, I would think that if you remember searching for over and hour, and then remember that I had “it” you might also remember what “it” is! But then again it wasn’t on the note.

We brought the kids to buy some Christmas Eve pajamas, and in the entire store there was only one pair in Joshua’s size. It was SpongeBob themed and he liked them so in the cart they went. It wasn’t until we were at the register that I noticed on the shirt “Are you sponge worthy?” Uh, he is ten, and I’m sure that in ten more years he will be but now he better not appear “sponge worthy” to anyone!!!! I considered butting them back but that would have meant no new pajamas for him, and I didn’t want that. Gary tried to appease me and said, “They didn’t mean that. They couldn’t have known THAT was what that meant!” “Well, unless they were living in a cave without a television for most of the nineties they would have to know that line came from Seinfeld!” Up until yesterday I didn’t see anything but a loveable innocent sponge. Today I will look more closely. We watched Madagascar today and there was a VERY inappropriate sexual reference. I hate that!

We had a great Christmas Eve playing Santa Bingo and eating Cheese Bacon Onion Squares and Bacon Wrapped Water Chestnuts. The kids were very excited and had trouble falling asleep. Noah came back down to remind me “don’t forget to put out the presents!” Sweet.

We had so much fun today with all our presents. The best part was the “secret santa” that the kids did for each other. The all picked out perfect gifts for one another and were so excited to share them. One of Matthew’s gifts was a golf set. He enjoys hitting balls around the house but the majority of his pleasure comes from hitting ornaments off the tree, or people, or using the clubs to pull cookies off the counters.

Our Christmas dinner was so yummy. We had prime rib with mashed potatoes, corn, gravy, and rolls with Kahlua trifle for dessert. Mmm. Hopefully we will all sleep until noon tomorrow and while I am dreaming I will also order up a personal chef to have eggs benedict waiting for me.