I'M COLD AND NEED TOILET PAPER. IT CAN ONLY GET BETTER FROM HERE.

I’m really, really cold. Really cold. And I’m reading my friend’s blog and it says that it’s a balmy 68* where she lives (ON TOP OF A MOUNTAIN!) so I click on the forecast for my zip code. Big mistake. Not only does it confirm that the sun is on hiatus and not even 50*, but there doesn’t appear to be an end in site to this hellish cold. Gary suggested a sweater, but I am already wearing a long sleeve shirt, thick jeans, and a fleece jacket.

And I have to go out because we are out of toilet paper, and NO, there isn’t any in the basement, and NO, I have no idea how it’s possible that there isn’t any in the basement. In response to the child who asked what on earth she was supposed to do with the wad of toilet paper I rationed her this morning, “It’s to wipe your butt. Please do so EVERY single time you use the bathroom. Thank you.”